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When your child is a lot like you

18 min read

A father and his look-alike son sit side by side on the sofa in the same posture, hands clasped, looking at each other.
When you look at your child and see yourself looking back.

The short version, first

Three things are true when you look at your child and see yourself looking back:

  1. A child whose brain works like yours isn't something you did. It's something you share. ADHD runs strongly in families. If they're a lot like you, that's mostly the wiring you passed on without choosing to — not a parenting mistake.
  2. Seeing yourself in them cuts both ways. It can make you the one person who truly gets them. It can also make you answer the child you were, instead of the child actually in front of you.
  3. The likeness is a head start, not a script. You understand them from the inside. The skill is using that to see them more clearly — not to assume they feel what you'd have felt.

That's the short version. Here's what's underneath it.

The rest of this guide is for members

You've just read the short version. The rest goes underneath it — what's really going on, what helps, and one small thing to try this week, in plain language for the brain you actually have. Members get the whole library: a guide for every hard moment, with new ones added over time.

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