I'm Paul Holmes

I founded Off Script Parenting in Wellington, Aotearoa New Zealand.

I spent two decades leading and building businesses — the kind of roles where you're meant to have it figured out. At the same time, my partner and I were raising a neurodivergent family. Our kids are adults now. The years in between are the ones this work is built for.

We were doing our best, and most days also just getting through. The parenting books we found didn't fit. The advice that worked for other families seemed to assume someone else's brain, and someone else's full tank.

So I went back to study. I hold a Graduate Certificate in Science (Psychology), I read deeply in the parenting research, and I spend my time turning it into something you can use at five o'clock on a Tuesday.

I'm not a clinician, not a psychologist, not a therapist. I'm a parent who's been through it, reads the research, and is building the resource we wish we'd had.

What I believe

Most parenting content is written for the parent the system wishes existed — calm, rested, with nothing else going on. Off Script Parenting is written for the parent who's actually in the room: tired, busy, often neurodivergent, often grieving a script that didn't fit.

Here's the heart of it: your child isn't the problem. The script is. When the standard advice doesn't fit, that's usually not you failing it — it was written for a different brain, and a fuller tank.

What this is — and what it isn't

This is parent education and coaching, in plain language. The science makes the content right; it isn't there to make you feel small. Every guide is built to be readable and do-able for any parent — no tertiary education needed, no jargon to decode.

It isn't therapy, diagnosis, or treatment, and it isn't a "fix your child" programme. If what you're carrying is bigger than everyday parenting — for you or your child — that deserves real support, and there's honest signposting through to it. In Aotearoa New Zealand you can call or text 1737 any time, free. Anywhere else, findahelpline.com will point you to the right place.

How I write it

I read across developmental psychology, parenting research, neurodiversity and how adults actually learn — and then I translate. The research stays in the background, doing its job. What reaches you is the plain version: what's going on underneath a hard moment, what helps, and one small thing to try this week.

Take what helps. Leave what doesn't.

— Paul